Last Saturday, as I was pondering my purpose at college and eating Chick-fil-a waffle fries, I was approached by a physics classmate wondering why on earth I would be on campus on a Saturday morning. He wasn't one of the really strange physics guys who really live up to their stereotype, so the moment wasn't completely ruined, but I wasn't in much of a mood to talk. I only mentioned physics homework, awkwardly and begrudgingly
He apparently didn't get the hint, because he then offered to show me where the physics lab was, right then and there.
I went. I needed to know.
Over the next two hours, we walked up to north campus, realized we both lived south, turned around, walked to his apartment, realized my apartment was 7 blocks in the opposite direction, and walked there.
The following week, he sat next to me whenever we had class together. My roommates went berserk over the whole situation, but I was happy to finally have a friend under no obligations.
What do I mean by "no obligations"? I have three roommates, and we're all best buds. I have a friend I do physics homework every day with. I sit next to an old friend from good 'ole California in our only class together. I hang out with my cousins and have a great time with them.
All of these people have an obligation to be my friend. I have to be friendly and enjoy my roommates, or else my college experience sucks. I live with them. I became friends with the girl in my physics class simply because we are the only girls in that class, and we needed study partners. I have to be friends with the guy from back home because we have always been friends, and we share a common background. (also I had a huuuge crush on him in 5th grade but that's another story). And my cousins are my family. They have to make me feel welcome in this crazy new life of college.
Every friendship I have here can be traced back to a moment when we knew we would have to form bonds between us or things wouldn't work out well. This in no way detracts from the friendship or compromises its legitimacy, but there is a certain attitude about the relationship that makes it seem tragic and frail.
So you can imagine how happy I was to know that someone, without any want, need, social duty or other obligation was actually interested in me, and me alone. He didn't need to stop and ask why I was at school on a Saturday morning, nor did he have to scan the room to find me and sit at the desk closest to mine.
But he did. And because he did I feel as though there is something about me that can encourage a friendship, something special that captured someone's attention and gave me an opportunity to show myself to another.
In short, I'm on top of the world.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Dear Diary....
Dear Diary,
I know we haven't talked in a while, and I'm not sorry. I have never enjoyed writing mundane events that happen to pass through my life and quite frankly, writing to you about them bores me. I'd rather be out making new memories then shutting myself in my room missing out while I describe in happy exclamations and silly details what exactly I won't care about tomorrow.
"Ah-ha!" you say. "You are writing to me now, and that must mean you have repented of your foolish thoughts!" Not so, Mr. Diary. I would rather be doing next Friday's physics homework than write to you. However, my dear friend Mr. Hamster has requested that I write about my day.
I wrote an 81 page novella for the guy. Don't take this personally, please.
Today I had the good fortune of waking up. I was not dead this morning, and as far as some people are concerned, that's a pretty darn good day. I had been up until about 2 in the morning shopping with my roommate (since I literally did not have any food left but for a few sticks of butter, bread, peanut butter, and oreos), so I slept through my first alarm at 8:30 and did not wake until 9:00. I was perturbed, but as my first class did not start until 12:00, I accepted it gracefully. As soon as I got out of bed I put on shorts, grabbed my keys and my phone, took my daily allegra, and headed out for a run. I have to run the moment I wake up or else my mind wakes up and my will not to run dominates my desire to have the strength of a lion.
The sun was already rising from the top of Y mountain, which was unfortunate, because it meant that I would have to deal with the harsh 70 degree weather that plagued Utah, instead of the cool 65 degrees, a much more suitable temperature. I started off straight south towards the park, but before I had the time to get out of breath, I beheld an orange tabby feline walking regally along the sidewalk. It was a friendly cat, and in no time at all I became suspicious of its curious sniffing and fled from it. The run was uneventful and short enough that I can waste no time in describing the breathless ache in my throat and the constant desire for more oxygen. It sucked. I ran less than a mile before turning back and heading up the hill that unfortunately my apartment lay at the top of. After returning there, I walked a few blocks to another park, where I stretched. Upon entering my apartment, I pulled out my resistance band and went through some strengthening exercises. They sucked. See if you can spot a theme here.
At about 10:30 I took a shower and got ready for the day ahead. Since I had time, I typed and printed the words "Magna Cum Laude", "Strength", and "Dream" and posted them on the bulletin board above my bed, to remind me of what I am here for. I will expound upon this at a later date. After which I packed my backpack and headed off to school. As I left the apartment, my roommate ran out after me and told me to wait, as she would like to walk to school with me. I patiently waited for her, and we set off together. I had no trouble keeping conversation with her, as I had gotten to know her a little and could make conversation on topics that both interested us. As we drew nearer to the school, I was passed by a super hot guy that I haven't met but have seen exactly two times before. I pointed this out to my roommate and we were instantly in giggles. I parted from her shortly and headed off to my religion class. I texted Mr. Hamster and sat next to Mr. Cookies as I listened to the interesting lecture. After religion, I had an hour to spend as I saw fit. I headed to the math lab building and ate my lunch as I reviewed my homework and found many mistakes that I could not for the life of me figure out how to fix. I found this was not in the good spirit of Magna cum laude, and I resolved from then on to always find a way to achieve a 100% on my homework. In math lab we reviewed new problems based on what we had learned in lecture the day before, and then were given time to start the homework due next class. I had not gotten far before our 50 minutes was up. I walked out of class and found my way to the math lab, where everyone can work together and get help from hired tutors. I spent the next 2 hours completing my next homework assignment with a few errors that I felt I could resolve with my friends the next day in lecture. I packed up and headed over to the science center to the physics lab, which is pretty much the same thing as the math lab. I spent the next 2 hours completing the homework due the next day and reading a ridiculous amount of stuff about thermodynamics in the textbook.
Since I had no more homework left and had unfortunately run out of pretzel sticks, I packed up and headed back home. I dropped off my backpack, ate soup, a banana, wheat thins, and apples and peanut butter, and then pulled out my homework so I could finish the assignments due the next day. I watched a few music videos from HTTYD and worked on writing. After I had finished, I watched some more videos. My roommate decided then to go to bed at the unholy hour of 9:30, so I had to sit in the kitchen to work on anthropology. I made some tea, which turned out to be disgusting, and spent an hour reading the first chapter in the book my professor wrote. Boring as heck. I decided, once I had finished, that I was done with homework for the night. As it was only 10:30, I debated doing my physics homework early, but instead was asked by Mr. Hamster to write this blog post. I have spent an hour doing this, and will go to bed shortly so I can get up and run tomorrow morning.
best regards,
Ariel Liddell
I know we haven't talked in a while, and I'm not sorry. I have never enjoyed writing mundane events that happen to pass through my life and quite frankly, writing to you about them bores me. I'd rather be out making new memories then shutting myself in my room missing out while I describe in happy exclamations and silly details what exactly I won't care about tomorrow.
"Ah-ha!" you say. "You are writing to me now, and that must mean you have repented of your foolish thoughts!" Not so, Mr. Diary. I would rather be doing next Friday's physics homework than write to you. However, my dear friend Mr. Hamster has requested that I write about my day.
I wrote an 81 page novella for the guy. Don't take this personally, please.
Today I had the good fortune of waking up. I was not dead this morning, and as far as some people are concerned, that's a pretty darn good day. I had been up until about 2 in the morning shopping with my roommate (since I literally did not have any food left but for a few sticks of butter, bread, peanut butter, and oreos), so I slept through my first alarm at 8:30 and did not wake until 9:00. I was perturbed, but as my first class did not start until 12:00, I accepted it gracefully. As soon as I got out of bed I put on shorts, grabbed my keys and my phone, took my daily allegra, and headed out for a run. I have to run the moment I wake up or else my mind wakes up and my will not to run dominates my desire to have the strength of a lion.
The sun was already rising from the top of Y mountain, which was unfortunate, because it meant that I would have to deal with the harsh 70 degree weather that plagued Utah, instead of the cool 65 degrees, a much more suitable temperature. I started off straight south towards the park, but before I had the time to get out of breath, I beheld an orange tabby feline walking regally along the sidewalk. It was a friendly cat, and in no time at all I became suspicious of its curious sniffing and fled from it. The run was uneventful and short enough that I can waste no time in describing the breathless ache in my throat and the constant desire for more oxygen. It sucked. I ran less than a mile before turning back and heading up the hill that unfortunately my apartment lay at the top of. After returning there, I walked a few blocks to another park, where I stretched. Upon entering my apartment, I pulled out my resistance band and went through some strengthening exercises. They sucked. See if you can spot a theme here.
At about 10:30 I took a shower and got ready for the day ahead. Since I had time, I typed and printed the words "Magna Cum Laude", "Strength", and "Dream" and posted them on the bulletin board above my bed, to remind me of what I am here for. I will expound upon this at a later date. After which I packed my backpack and headed off to school. As I left the apartment, my roommate ran out after me and told me to wait, as she would like to walk to school with me. I patiently waited for her, and we set off together. I had no trouble keeping conversation with her, as I had gotten to know her a little and could make conversation on topics that both interested us. As we drew nearer to the school, I was passed by a super hot guy that I haven't met but have seen exactly two times before. I pointed this out to my roommate and we were instantly in giggles. I parted from her shortly and headed off to my religion class. I texted Mr. Hamster and sat next to Mr. Cookies as I listened to the interesting lecture. After religion, I had an hour to spend as I saw fit. I headed to the math lab building and ate my lunch as I reviewed my homework and found many mistakes that I could not for the life of me figure out how to fix. I found this was not in the good spirit of Magna cum laude, and I resolved from then on to always find a way to achieve a 100% on my homework. In math lab we reviewed new problems based on what we had learned in lecture the day before, and then were given time to start the homework due next class. I had not gotten far before our 50 minutes was up. I walked out of class and found my way to the math lab, where everyone can work together and get help from hired tutors. I spent the next 2 hours completing my next homework assignment with a few errors that I felt I could resolve with my friends the next day in lecture. I packed up and headed over to the science center to the physics lab, which is pretty much the same thing as the math lab. I spent the next 2 hours completing the homework due the next day and reading a ridiculous amount of stuff about thermodynamics in the textbook.
Since I had no more homework left and had unfortunately run out of pretzel sticks, I packed up and headed back home. I dropped off my backpack, ate soup, a banana, wheat thins, and apples and peanut butter, and then pulled out my homework so I could finish the assignments due the next day. I watched a few music videos from HTTYD and worked on writing. After I had finished, I watched some more videos. My roommate decided then to go to bed at the unholy hour of 9:30, so I had to sit in the kitchen to work on anthropology. I made some tea, which turned out to be disgusting, and spent an hour reading the first chapter in the book my professor wrote. Boring as heck. I decided, once I had finished, that I was done with homework for the night. As it was only 10:30, I debated doing my physics homework early, but instead was asked by Mr. Hamster to write this blog post. I have spent an hour doing this, and will go to bed shortly so I can get up and run tomorrow morning.
best regards,
Ariel Liddell
Friday, September 5, 2014
A College Life is a Lonely One...
One of my roommates, out on a date;
One of my roommates, staying out late;
One of my roommates always with friends;
And here I am sitting on my bed watching Merlin with my physics homework next to me, done three days before it's due.
What's wrong with me?
I have heard about the magic of making so many friends in college, of sharing wonderful experiences together, and of building lasting relationships that may last for eternity.
That is for other people.
I am an introvert. I cannot stand crowded places or any sort of chaos that involves people. I get stomachaches from loud music and flashing lights and the stinky mass of sweaty people. My happiest moments of the week are when my roommates walk out the door. I love my own space to squeal and absorb myself in whatever I want whenever I want to, without feeling obligated to talk to someone. And for the love of all that's good and sacred in this world, don't feel sorry for me and sit next to me when I'm apart from the group.
But for all my desire to really just be alone most of the time, I would give up pretty much anything to have a good friend.
A good friend (n)- a person who can understand both silence and chattering, who can appreciate and respect both. Feels comfortable and content just to be in the same room as their friend, without feeling the pressure or need to make conversation. Must be known long enough to be familiar and almost habitual. Can appreciate sarcasm and fire it back with ease. And, most importantly, must make an introvert feel she can be herself when in their presence (and must be able to hang out with said introvert for more than and hour without seriously irritating her).
I have had about 3 friends in my lifetime that fit this description, all at different stages. One I knew pretty much since I was born until we split up around third grade. The second I met in elementary school and was with her almost everyday until seventh grade. The third and last I met in sixth grade, but did not understand how perfect he was until my senior year. He remains the best and most treasured friend I have ever had.
With that kind of track record, how am I supposed to "Get out and make some friends"? That just doesn't happen!
But for the first time away from my friends, family, and everyone I grew up with, I finally understand how important it is to have someone close by who I can love, trust, and confide in. I need someone in my daily life I can live for every day and would be willing to die for. I search for faces in the crowd, hoping one will look back at me with understanding eyes and a heart that will accept me for my own value. It is a futile search, yet I never give up the hope that I will find the perfect friend that I can live for day by day.
Or else I just really need a hug. I'm not sure.
Curse you Merlin and all your feels.
Edit: I forgot to mention, I have one other good friend. She has stayed by my side all my life, no matter what trials I have gone through. She will never betray me and she has always comforted me. She never speaks ill of me and she never annoys me or irritates me. Her name is Angel. She is 17 years old. She is also a rabbit.
One of my roommates, staying out late;
One of my roommates always with friends;
And here I am sitting on my bed watching Merlin with my physics homework next to me, done three days before it's due.
What's wrong with me?
I have heard about the magic of making so many friends in college, of sharing wonderful experiences together, and of building lasting relationships that may last for eternity.
That is for other people.
I am an introvert. I cannot stand crowded places or any sort of chaos that involves people. I get stomachaches from loud music and flashing lights and the stinky mass of sweaty people. My happiest moments of the week are when my roommates walk out the door. I love my own space to squeal and absorb myself in whatever I want whenever I want to, without feeling obligated to talk to someone. And for the love of all that's good and sacred in this world, don't feel sorry for me and sit next to me when I'm apart from the group.
But for all my desire to really just be alone most of the time, I would give up pretty much anything to have a good friend.
A good friend (n)- a person who can understand both silence and chattering, who can appreciate and respect both. Feels comfortable and content just to be in the same room as their friend, without feeling the pressure or need to make conversation. Must be known long enough to be familiar and almost habitual. Can appreciate sarcasm and fire it back with ease. And, most importantly, must make an introvert feel she can be herself when in their presence (and must be able to hang out with said introvert for more than and hour without seriously irritating her).
I have had about 3 friends in my lifetime that fit this description, all at different stages. One I knew pretty much since I was born until we split up around third grade. The second I met in elementary school and was with her almost everyday until seventh grade. The third and last I met in sixth grade, but did not understand how perfect he was until my senior year. He remains the best and most treasured friend I have ever had.
With that kind of track record, how am I supposed to "Get out and make some friends"? That just doesn't happen!
But for the first time away from my friends, family, and everyone I grew up with, I finally understand how important it is to have someone close by who I can love, trust, and confide in. I need someone in my daily life I can live for every day and would be willing to die for. I search for faces in the crowd, hoping one will look back at me with understanding eyes and a heart that will accept me for my own value. It is a futile search, yet I never give up the hope that I will find the perfect friend that I can live for day by day.
Or else I just really need a hug. I'm not sure.
Curse you Merlin and all your feels.
Edit: I forgot to mention, I have one other good friend. She has stayed by my side all my life, no matter what trials I have gone through. She will never betray me and she has always comforted me. She never speaks ill of me and she never annoys me or irritates me. Her name is Angel. She is 17 years old. She is also a rabbit.
Angel
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