Yesterday my new roommate invited me to go shopping with her and her sister. I said yes, without thinking that it actually meant clothes shopping. At the mall.
Considering how I'm an introvert, I'm not entirely certain what strange tricks my mind was trying to pull on me to put me in a completely new person's company in a situation that I have absolutely no experience or confidence in. Seriously, what the heck, brain?
Anyway, since I figure I'm too scared of people to say "No shut up and leave me alone", I tagged along. I learned some very interesting things about these strange creatures called "girls".
First: she needed some of literally every article of clothing known to man. Of course she had some extenuating circumstances that I could sympathize with, but still. First we went to find shoes.
Apparently, when girls pick out shoes, they choose based on what looks cute. They literally walk through the store picking up shoes and saying, "Oh, this is cute," and proceed to pass the cash without further ado.
There are several things about this simple yet horrifying process that make me cringe. First of all, most of the shoes in the store are pieces of fabric sown together. There is no arch support, no absorbent material, no rounded toe and no tread. In fact, most of them look like they're impossible to run in. Some girls even buy high heels by choice.
I am a runner. I run all the time. My whole life has been focused on running whenever I want to. So the prospect of getting a shoe that has no business supporting a foot is insane to me. I'd rather go barefoot. At least then I wouldn't have to worry about looking like a stiff legged doll when I run and destroying my knees.
Second of all, I have spent the majority of my life choosing shoes that fit my needs. I have to have shoes that don't have a weak foam of the outside of the heel, a strong support on the arch, and a deep heel pocket thing. Why? because when I run, I need special inserts in my shoes that support my foot and push the heel out and the toes in (or something like that) to prevent me from over compensating for my 30 degree scoliosis curve in my lumbar spine.
So when I describe that to the person at the shoe store, they pull out a box, and if it works, I take it. I don't really care if it's got a cute bow on it or if it's too flashy. I can't. There aren't a lot of great shoes that fit my needs.
I do draw the line at red, however.
so after she rejected all the shoes at that store, (including the shark high heels, unfortunately) we moved on to shirts. We went to H&M. And then she commanded me to pick out at least 5 shirts to try on.
No problem. I found 8. she found 3 or 4. The stuff I got was super cute and I envisioned them looking great on me.
Trying them on was just a formality, because I know from a long time of experience that none of them would work. There simply is not any article of clothing from any top-fashion "back to school" hip cute girl with perfect proportions store that would fit me. I don't know if I just don't have the body for it or if I'm just so used to t-shirts that anything else scares me.
But I did try them on and no, none of them worked. But it was fun to dream. My roommate found 2 shirts that you would not catch me dead in.
We split up after that and I headed off to Eddie Bauer. Everything in that store is SO STINKIN CUTE and lots of it looks good on me! I got a new shirt and jeans and fantasied about buying tons of other things out of my budget range.
The reason Eddie Bauer is the only store that can sell me clothes is because it is a store devoted to outdoor recreation and activity.
End of story.
So I don't understand girls at all. Their ability to choose clothes and shoes that look great on them just by seeing what's "cute" is way beyond my mental capacity. I'm a physics major.
Aren't these GREAT??
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